I don't have a lot of memories growing up, because I have a terrible memory (it is seriously a good thing my parents took lots of pictures), but I do remember spending time with extended family. Most of my extended family lived in Salt Lake area, which was just about a 3 hours drive from my house. So we came to support our family in everything. We came to baby blessings, baptisms, confirmations, and other church-related events, as well as some holidays and occasionally birthday parties. Then, when I got older, I would attend bridal showers, baby showers, weddings, and receptions. But soon after I got married, I moved far away. Far enough away that I was only able to come home for Christmas and maybe once in the summer if I was up for the drive. Since then, I have lived far enough away that I cannot attend any of the events that I grew up being at. Every time I get an announcement, I literally cry, because I know I can't be there but I really want to. Luckily I live close enough that I have been able to attend some weddings that I would have been extremely heartbroken to miss. I always thought that I would end up living closer to family, after a temporary residency far away, but that might not be the case. What I want to know, is how do you cope with "missing out" on all the family adventures and changes that happen while you are far away?
2 comments:
Oh, Bos, I'm sorry! I wish I had good advice for you. When we lived in Maryland I actually looked forward to going through holidays alone. I craved the freedom to do our own little Christmas (and Thanksgiving and Easter) as our own little family. I was sad when Ty came home from his mission, but I just called and they put me on a cell speaker phone so I could hear everything. I hope you can find something that helps you out!
I think it will get easier as time goes on and you live far away. My family grew up away from all the cousins and as much as I like to be there for stuff like bridal showers and babies being born, etc., I'm just used to missing things. I think "well, that'd be fun to go to. Oh well." I don't mean to sound like I don't care--I do! But growing up away from family gave me no other option than to deal with it and so I did. I still feel pretty close to quite a few cousins--my parents did a really good job of making sure we knew all our cousins and I stayed in touch with the ones close to my age. Now I read blogs and can feel close to cousins I barely knew growing up! It's not the same, no, but at least I feel connected.
I think the hardest thing for me so far has been missing Katie's baby Emmeline being born. Sometimes I feel so sad that I'm missing her growing up, but I try to focus on the cute pictures and updates I receive and I realize that I will miss many events like this and probably none of my sisters will be around when I have my baby. It's sad but I take comfort in knowing they all care and would love to be here, it's just not possible.
I know I'm not saying anything to fix your sadness. I just wanted you to know that I think it will get easier for you as time goes on, but I think it does have a lot to do with how you grew up and the opportunities you had.
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